Today, we're going to watch Megan and Lauren review their friend Rebecca's paper about a little boy's Christmas. Let's get inside their heads to see what they're thinking as they read her paper. First, we'll go to Megan. "It was Christmas Day. Danny knew that from the moment he first opened his eyes, eager to see what Santa brought him. 'Boy, hey!' This should be 'eager to see what Santa brought him.' Little Danny tried to jump out of bed and fell to the ground, then rushed downstairs in anticipation of all the toys he knew Santa would have left for him. Wow, okay, that's long. Danny had asked for a scooter, a Wii, a Guitar Hero, and a Spider-Man motorcycle. Some of this is kind of long and confusing, like this sentence right here. This sentence is really long, and I think she could add a lot more by putting in some descriptive adjectives. Maybe right here, but you know, this is all just her writing, so I'll just leave it the way it is. She can change it if she wants to, or if not, it's fine." Megan's not doing a very good job at responding to her peer's paper. She only focused on grammatical errors rather than organization and the overall effect of the paper. She thinks it's a little dry and unclear, but she's reserving criticism for fear of hurting her friend's feelings. So let's see how Lauren does. "It was Christmas Day. Hmm, what kind of Christmas was it? Some descriptions could really make this come to life. Danny knew that from the moment he first opened his eyes, eager to see what Santa brought him. Little Danny tried to jump out of bed and fell to the ground, and rushed downstairs in anticipation of all the toys...
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