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Video instructions and help with filling out and completing Where Form 8865 Constructively

Instructions and Help about Where Form 8865 Constructively

You know, there is some research literature on the difference between what I think is called constructive and destructive anger. Constructive anger is defined as something that solves a problem. Sometimes that problem is just to make yourself tough, so that people don't push you out. If you get angry to show people that you're somebody to be reckoned with, that's a good use of anger. If you get angry because somebody is hurting somebody, that's a good use of anger. If you get angry at injustice and then use it to do something about it, that's a good use of anger. However, if you're angry for three months and it doesn't do anything except make you feel bad, that's not a good use of anger. So, the constructive and destructive aspects of our emotions fit right in with the question of whether it's skillful or not. Here's the piece that kind of puts it all together: most of the unskillful experiences are based on the stress response. They're based on the body perceiving danger and dumping adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine, among other things, into your body. This causes you to be anxious, agitated, fear-based, and threat-based. It limits the amount of processing that goes on in your prefrontal cortex, making you act stupid and come up with stupid solutions repeatedly until they become a habit. Then, you think, "I can't change this. This is the way it's supposed to be. This is the way everybody does it. This is the most logical way to respond to having had a terrible father." But it's all based on the stress response, all of it, the fight-or-flight. When you're upset about something, if you have a moment of detachment, you'll realize that it's not even you. It's just neurochemicals forcing the fight-or-flight response, because you'll...