Fifteen years ago, my colleagues at the Harvard negotiation project and I wrote a book called "Difficult Conversations." I have spent the last couple of decades traveling around the world, helping people and organizations with some of their most challenging conversations. Now, the first thing we do when we work with any group is ask them about their toughest conversations and how we can help. Together, we make a list that we can reference throughout the day. Over the years, we have noticed a pattern - feedback consistently shows up on that list. It doesn't matter where we are or what industry we're in, people and organizations all over the world struggle with feedback. For the first ten years, we focused on teaching givers how to give feedback more skillfully and clearly. However, we realized that the receiver is the one in charge of what they let in and how they choose to change. We had been approaching feedback the wrong way. Feedback is not just about ance evaluations or judgments; it is about our relationship with the world. We need to learn how to take in the feedback we receive and drive our own learning. We shouldn't have to rely on good givers to show up; we should be able to learn from any type of feedback, even if it is off-base or poorly delivered. Research shows that people who actively seek out negative feedback report higher work satisfaction and adapt more quickly in new roles. If we become better at receiving feedback, it not only changes us, but also how others see and experience us. Think about a piece of coaching or advice that you have rejected in the past. There could be various reasons for not taking it - it could have been bad advice, you didn't trust the person giving it,...
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